School’s out for summer — which can be a challenge for teen perfectionists

While many students relish having the summer off from school, the downtime can strike a different chord with teen perfectionists.

The loss of structure and purpose provided by rigid schedules and schoolwork can cause anxiety amongst some youth, which may become apparent only a few days into the summer holidays, says Brock University Associate Professor of Child and Youth Studies Danielle Sirianni Molnar (BA ’01, MA ’05, PhD ’11).

“Parents may observe their teens feeling restless unless they are busy or working towards their unusually high standards,” says the Canada Research Chair in Adjustment and Well-Being in Children and Youth. “It is not uncommon for teen perfectionists to share with us that they tend to ‘over plan’ their summers so they do not lose momentum and can make the most of their time.”

That may mean taking up new hobbies, engaging in sports, learning a new language or volunteering — in many cases to ensure they are strong candidates for scholarships, university applications or future careers, Sirianni Molnar says.

“Keep in mind, this is in addition to their paid employment and their social time,” she says.

Sirianni Molnar, who has researched teen perfectionism for the past decade, encourages parents to be on the lookout for signs of “activity-based self-worth,” which sees teens basing their worth as human beings on their ability to always be engaged in meaningful activities.

To learn more about the behaviour of teen perfectionists, her research team is looking for participants for their new study, “Living with Perfectionism.”

Youth between 12 and 18 years of age who self-identify as perfectionists and their parent or guardian can enrol in the study by emailing lwp_study@brocku.ca. They need to live within a reasonable driving distance to Brock, since part of the research will be conducted in a University lab.

Danielle Sirianni Molnar, Canada Research Chair in Adjustment and Well-Being in Children and Youth, sits in a chair next to a window.

Danielle Sirianni Molnar, Canada Research Chair in Adjustment and Well-Being in Children and Youth, is conducting a new study on teen perfectionism.

Participants will be asked questions but with a twist: instead of answering verbally or with numbers on a scale, the teen and their parent will take photographs separately to illustrate their answers.

The duo will then come into the lab and discuss their photos with each other and the researchers.

At the end of the study period, participants will receive gift cards for their participation and can choose to have their photos showcased in an exhibition, where members of the public can view the images and learn the stories behind them.

“We want it to be an immersive experience where the public can feel what the participants feel to gain a deeper understanding of what day-to-day life is like for young perfectionists and their families,” says Sirianni Molnar.

She says studies into this topic are important to raise awareness, as parents often don’t recognize the signs of perfectionism and the damage it causes to their children’s mental and physical health.

“Young perfectionists wear this mask of perfection that creates a barrier to sharing with others, resulting in a profound level of social disconnection,” she says. “Although they view this mask as being protective, the persistent loneliness can lead to mental health problems like depression, isolation, anxiety and chronic stress.”

Sirianni Molnar says that perfectionist teens may not be doing as well in life as they appear, either. In studies examining their objective performance, most perfectionist teens don’t perform much better than their peers. In some cases, they may even perform worse because their anxiety over everything being flawless causes them to procrastinate.

Perfectionistic teens also tend to seek validation by “over monitoring” the eye contact, facial expressions and other body language of people who they’re interacting with, and through “likes” and comments on social media, she says.

Receiving less-than-stellar feedback from others can cause debilitating anxiety in perfectionistic teens.

“Young perfectionists interpret feedback very differently than those who are lower in perfectionism,” says Sirianni Molnar. “If someone is told, ‘You look good,’ a lot of people would take that as a compliment,” she says. “But the perfectionist teen would think, ‘Just good? Why just good? What’s wrong?’”

She says her research aims to help parents, teens, and teachers recognize the signs of perfectionism and “to provide resources aimed at supporting young perfectionists in letting go of their perfectionistic tendencies so that they can thrive.”


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