Returning to school can be a highly emotional experience.

While many children and youth are excited about seeing their friends and resuming school activities, others are filled with anxiety and dread at the prospect of yet another year of ill-treatment.

“Bullying is a serious form of aggression that involves an individual who is unable to defend themselves against their aggressor,” says Professor of Child and Youth Studies Tony Volk, who is a member of the Brock Research on Aggression and Victimization Experiences (BRAVE) research group, one of Canada’s largest teams of child and youth bullying experts.

For children who are the victims of name calling, shoving, rumour mongering, teasing, social exclusion and other forms of violence, “negative effects such as depression, anxiety and worse can last for decades,” he says.

And this violence is not restricted to in-person encounters.

In a World Health Organization report he co-authored earlier this year, Professor of Epidemiology William Pickett and his team found online bullying is on the rise, with one in six school-aged children and youth experiencing cyberbullying in the 44 countries examined.

Additionally, the report says one in eight teens surveyed reported cyberbullying others and one in 10 teens having been involved in physical fights.

“These findings serve as a stark reminder that despite some improvements, violence in many forms remains prevalent in our young people, and this remains an important focus for public health, clinical and educational efforts,” says Pickett, who co-leads the Health Behaviour in School-aged Children (HBSC) study in Canada.

Also increasing is incivility in general, which can pave the way to bullying, says Volk. This includes behaviours such as interrupting, cutting in line and being rude.

The flip side to rudeness, bullying and other anti-social behaviours is kindness, a skill that needs to be intentionally cultivated in children and youth, says Professor of Education Sandra Bosacki.

The Director of Brock’s Theory of Mind in Education (ToME) Lab and her team are exploring what kindness means to youth to see how they view treating others and themselves with respect, compassion and care.

“Such life skills can help with important life transitions — especially during adolescence such as the start of secondary school,” Bosacki says, adding that being kind to oneself and others also helps youth feel less stressed, more connected to their friends and family, more compassionate and confident about their performance.

She says her team’s research has found teens who spend less time on social media are also more likely to have kind self-thoughts, understand others and feel more connected to their friends.

Ways for youth to develop kindness and compassion include spending time in nature, reading fiction, playing with pets, watching a funny movie or reading funny book or trying a new recipe, among other activities away from their phones and computers, she says.

“Parents can serve as role models by staying off their phone, avoiding ‘phubbing’ — ignoring someone nearby and paying attention to a phone instead — and showing ways to have fun together and be mindful of the moment,” says Bosacki.

Volk says parents can help their children avoid being a victim of bullying, stand up for those who are bullied and, most importantly, not engage in bullying themselves by:

• Making sure their children are happy at school and helping them to foster positive friendships.
• Teaching their children the value of co-operation and helping others who are in need, which must also happen at the school level.
• Setting the example that winning isn’t everything and that “being a good person matters more than being the best.”

“Parents need to be very mindful that children watch what they do and how they treat others, so if a parent acts like a bully, supports bullies or looks up to them, they can expect their child to do the same,” he says.